(no subject)

[help_wanted]

WHAT in person YOU FOOLS
WHERE THE MALL
WHEN Day 5*

[ You were probably minding your own business, just doing normal business things like working or walking or not going to work. NORMAL THINGS.

Some of you may be drawn to a rather odd door that you can find behind the mall... I am Jack's Unique Sense of Millennial Apathy and this is fight club.





Other people might just be checking out some like. stores where you don't have to bleed to buy.

Comments

[hailstormed]

[ this guy is just looking at surrounding neighborhood or buildings or whatever with some slight anxiety.

And reading the pamphlet in his hands with his eyes narrowed ]

... I suppose it could be worse...

[wrongstory]

Have you just arrived?

[cinnaponroll]

Looking for something?

[wanpanjanai]

[this dude is currently sitting by himself in the food court, slurping the last of a smoothie and watching people walk by

his table is strewn with a whole bunch of job applications that he's put his name on and then abandoned]

[shaveandahaircut]

[also wandering through the mall with a bit more purpose. The sight of Saitama makes him pause, stopping to look. It's he trying to decide which one to apply to?]

[proficient_in_photoshop]

[FFFINALLY off shift. He heads up to him, stretching dramatically.]

Oi, Saitama! Any luck?

[keijournal]

[He gave himself a lunch break because he wanted to get food that wasn't for sale at LuXe, so passing him by with A Fancy Lava Smoothy and an order of fries.

Pauses to peer at the job apps.]

I see you're putting in a real effort.

[giving100percent]

[...huh you know master

watching the two of you talk]

[hotsytotsybotsy]

[There's a fashionable lady walking around the area carrying a big shiny pistol- but at least she isn't waving it around or anything. She looks pretty wary.]

Hey, Over-Easy. You know what the score is with this joint?

[selfidentitytheft]

[there's some guy filling bird feeders in the park. he doesn't have any kind of uniform and there's a welcome brochure still in his back pocket, but]

[there he is]

[filling bird feeders]

Aaand a pinch of cayenne to tell the squirrels to fuck off.

[quicktemptation]

...Do birds not taste spice?

slides in here late

[ghostfromthemachine]

[ so he's probably noticed a very modest patch of the park nearer to the forest has absolutely been claimed by some sort of minor kami— they don't seem to be there at the moment, though, and they haven't bothered him at his work

up until about two seconds ago, at which point the individual in question had popped out of nowhere not far behind him— and in person, they feel a lot less like a kami and a lot more like something significantly more dangerous. ]

Does that work?

[mackynations]

[ there's a new face by the back of the mall dressed in elegant, futuristic looking military garb. probably more distracting is the ten fucking foot tall mech he's looking up at, though.

he's also wearing the sunglasses from his rebel giftbag, because it's a nice day outside, okay. ]

How diminished you've become ...

[ as if he's speaking ??to the mech?? ]

[keijournal]

[walking back from work.

In a nice enough suit, though he's undone the tie and a few buttons and undone.

He sees it from a block away of course, but still just sort of.

I mean what else do you do but walk up to it and stare at it.]

Huh.

[selfidentitytheft]

[i'm gonna take a selfie next to it]

[cool public sculpture, super cool]

[turnonmycharm]

[hey kids, are you looking for ALCOHOL?]

[maybe you've passed by this restaurant in the mall before, or maybe it just appeared? maybe it, like all things, are eternal and not to be questioned. in any case, this is a pretty quaint little hipster joint with a door into the mall, as well as one leading outside, with a small covered patio. the patio is always busy. don't even try to get a seat at the patio.]

[if you go inside, there's antler decor, a lot of comfy little booths, and craft beer offered in mason jars. and more importantly, there's also a hella hot bartender (psst) wearing a black apron and chatting up a priest at the bar. order a drink? he'll probably hit on you, too]

—morning, afternoon, or evening, I've forgotten how to tell. A mall's a really liminal space, you know.

[oneknightsstand]

I think only after closing usually. At least in my weird mall dreams.

[oneknightsstand]

[There is a priest in his early twenties at the bar, getting served drinks by Tristan]

[muses aloud] How rude would it be to straight up pop these Cheetos open instead of ordering food though?

[foretasted]

Isn't that just normal bar behavior?

[rightwingman]

[There's a young man in a nice suit wandering around the mall. Maybe he's caught your eye! ...maybe he's caught your eye the third or fifth time he's passed through the food court.]

Is it... a circle? No that's not the pretzel shop from before, is it? How many pretzel shops can one place have...




[Please help him he's lost]

[originsong]

[ honestly we've probably run into each other at least six times this mall trip because Shurelia is also horribly irreparably lost. ]

Are you looking for pretzels?

[deathreversed]

[At Spicy Subject (it's hot topic, guys), a young man who is DEFINITELY AN ACTUAL ZOMBIE is limping around the store to hang various clothing items]

I cannot possibly wait to get paid and immediately put money back into this store.

[selfidentitytheft]

[rummaging through the $1 pin bin. so far he's found three variants on "For Fox Sake" and one "What Does the Fox Say?"]

You're going to put that employee discount to use, huh?

[originsong]

[ STRAIGHT UP THERE IS WHAT APPEARS TO BE A ROBOT JUST FLOATING DOWN THE STREET. IT LOOKS VERY COOL AND INTIMIDATING.

IT IS CAREFULLY READING A STREET SIGN. ]

[acts_her_age]

[self-preservation for my tiny child body vs cool science shit]

[...............................]

...Can you read it?

[kitsunebi]

[ DO YOU LIKE SWEETS?? I mean, even if you don't, walking past Bonbonnierre in the mall is pretty damn hard because good god it smells HEAVENLY in there. It's like trying to walk past an Auntie Anne's. Or a Toll House cookie booth. Just doesn't work.

if you go in nothing seems to be actually cooking just yet, or at least not while no customers were there. why would that nice lady behind the counter cook for no reason?? strange. She seems perky though. ]

Welcome~

[selfidentitytheft]

[yip]

Uh hi.

[cinnaponroll]

[There's a cinnamon bun place here?! Count Tsuzuki in! Trophy obtained from Sinnybunz, he admires the fresh bun in the food court. It smells so good.]

It's just like the real thing!

[wanpanjanai]

[just sitting with him at his table. sorry you didn't invite him and don't know him]

Wow. That's the most over the top food I've ever seen. Can you really eat it?

[acts_her_age]

[wow who allowed actual children* in here]

[that is to say, there's a small girl dragging a newly-purchased step stool that's as tall as she is through the mall, and not really... looking so fresh? she's kinda pale, but the way her hair is sticking together and falling around her face makes it look as if maybe she's been sweating a lot recently. where did she get a step stool. is there a department store here? there's probably a department store here. don't worry about it. in any case, she heads to the food court with her stool, ordering herself a juice and then flinging herself into a seat with all the attitude of a sulky teenager, looking Very Unimpressed.]

[* not an actual child]

[bowsight]

[There's a fluffy-haired, very soft-seeming boy in Millenial Gothic, looking at sweaters. He's like 5' 5" and trying to get something off a rack above his head, which is not going too well. Eventually it results in an avalanche of cardigans.]

O-Oh no!

[Also he looks like he couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag, but he pings as demon-possessed.]

[giving100percent]

[no problem with that

helping pull the cardigans off him]

Are you okay?

[hotsytotsybotsy]

[A blue haired young woman is strolling around the mall, dressed like she just came out of the roaring twenties. The worrying part is that she's carrying around what looks like a large shiny revolver.

She's looking things over very warily, but she doesn't point the gun at anybody. She's been here just long enough to know she can't leave, but somehow this isn't a virtual reality either, as far as she can tell. It's Earth gravity, and most people here are organic, but aren't there supposed to be no humans left on Earth? This is all a little but much for one robot gangster.]

Alright, what's all this baloney? You think it's jake to kidnap girls and trap 'em in the boonies?