(no subject)

[shoutingnubbypinchcritter]

WHAT text
WHERE THE INTERNET
WHEN DAY 43

OKAY.
SOMEHOW YOU ASSHOLES ARE GIVING ME A MIGRAINE FROM MY SAFE HAVEN OF THIS SOULLESS AND BLINDINGLY BRIGHT COMPLIMENTARY RESPITEBLOCK.
PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU ARE DOING OR THINKING STUPID THINGS ABOUT YOUR RESPECTIVE CONCILIATORY OR CONCUPISCENT INTERESTS.
DON'T THINK I DIDN'T SEE THAT REVOLTING ATTEMPT AT UNNECESSARY AUSPISTICING FOR WHAT IS OBVIOUSLY A RESPECTABLY CONTENTIOUS LONG-RUNNING BLACKROM, EARLIER.
IT DOESN'T TAKE A PROFESSIONAL TO REALIZE THERE IS NOTHING FOR YOUR CAFFEINE CORRODED SPONGES TO DO HERE OTHER THAN FIGURE OUT HOW EXACTLY TO ROMANTICALLY FUCK BOTH EACH OTHER AND YOURSELVES WITH THE SAME SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE APPENDAGE.
BUT SINCE I AM BASICALLY A PROFESSIONAL.
AND ALSO PRETTY BORED.
YOU CAN LINE UP AND TELL ME ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK EVER STUPID THING YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT WHOEVER IS CURRENTLY INCURRING YOUR PITY OR HATE.
FOR YOU HUMANS THAT MEANS WHO DO YOU WANT TO LOVEFUCK OR HATEFUCK.
AND I WILL OFFER A DISINTERESTED AND COOL HEADED OUTSIDER'S OPINION ON HOW BADLY YOU ARE FUCKING UP.
YOU CAN BE ANONYMOUS IF THAT IS ALL YOU'VE GOT THE SHAMEGLOBES FOR, I DON'T ACTUALLY CARE.
OH.
AND THIS IS ALL STRICTLY PLATONIC.
I AM NOT AUSPITICING FOR ANYONE.
AND IF A SINGLE ONE OF YOU NOOKSTAINS HITS ON ME I SWEAR TO EVERY TENTACLED MOTHERFUCKER IN PARADOX SPACE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND RIP YOUR BIZARRE ALIEN ENTRAILS OUT OF WHATEVER QUALIFIES FOR YOUR BIZARRE ALIEN SHITHOLE, UNDERSTOOD?
OKAY?
GO.

Comments

anonymous

[supraliminally]

What are your qualifications, though? Are you certified?

Re: anonymous

[shoutingnubbypinchcritter]

I HAVE A PHD IN GO FUCK YOURSELF.
IT QUALIFIES ME TO TALK ABOUT BASICALLY WHATEVER I WANT WITH ABSOLUTE AND UNQUESTIONED AUTHORITY.

username: psychest

[ananass]

tl;dr :U ok but r u angry alien dear prudence?? is that whats happening

[shoutingnubbypinchcritter]

YES.
THAT IS WHAT ALL OF THOSE ALIEN WORDS AND CONCEPTS I JUST TALKED ABOUT INDICATED.
ALSO ME IDENTIFYING YOU BY YOUR SPECIES.
AND SAYING THE WORD ALIEN A FEW TIMES.
GOOD JOB DISCERNING OBVIOUS, STAR CHAMP!
THE GENIUS IS YOU.

anonymous

[foretasted]

yea actually i kinda feel like there are some things i should talk to sokeone about ......

Re: anonymous

[shoutingnubbypinchcritter]

FINALLY.
DON'T MAKE ME ASK YOU A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS, I HATE THAT GAME.
JUST SPILL.

turntechGodhead

[clocked_out]

oh my god

Re: turntechGodhead

[shoutingnubbypinchcritter]

THANKS FOR THE HELPFUL CONTRIBUTION, STRIDER.

1800propsychic

[proficient_in_photoshop]

i have 4 incredible handsome men who are all dreamy, low drama, great in the sack, and loving, and basically only compete for fun to impress me. is this legal according to inter-planetary standards

Re: 1800propsychic

[shoutingnubbypinchcritter]

I REALIZE YOU ARE JUST BEING AN ASSHOLE.
BUT I'M ACTUALLY CURIOUS IF A HUMAN HAS SATISFACTORILY FILLED ALL FOUR QUADRANTS, OR IF YOU HAVE JUST DONE THE TYPICAL STUPID HUMAN THING AND OVER-BALANCED YOUR FLUSHED QUADRANT WHICH HAS NEVER IN THE HISTORY OF ALL SPACE-TIME IMPLODED INTO STUPID DRAMA.
I'M ASSUMING IT'S THE LATTER SINCE NO ONE HAS EVER DESCRIBED A SUCCESSFUL CALIGINOUS RELATIONSHIP AS LOW DRAMA.
BUT, SURE.
I'LL BITE.
WOW. SOUNDS REALLY AMAZING! WHAT A LUCKY FELLA/DAME/OTHER.
HOW DID YOU DO IT.

Re: 1800propsychic

[notenoughspoons]

anonymous

[ahorseforgood]

It's certainly not illegal here. Enjoy this relatively judgment-free space and be careful you're expressing your intentions clearly. Sometimes when a relationship doesn't have much "drama," you can forget to check in!

B100D80RN3

[deathblossomisready]

whats blackrom

Re: B100D80RN3

[shoutingnubbypinchcritter]

YOU KNOW I WAS REALLY READY TO BE MAD ABOUT THIS QUESTION.
BUT THEN EVERYONE WAS WAY MORE OF AN NOOKSTAIN BEFORE YOU EVEN GOT HERE.
SO NOW EXPLAINING BASIC ROMANTIC CONCEPTS IS BASICALLY A RELAXING ACTIVITY IN BETWEEN SCHOOLFEEDING ALL THESE CHUMPS WHO THINK THINK THEY CAN TROLL A TROLL.
SO YEAH, ANYWAY.
BLACKROM IS FOR THE QUADRANTS INFORMED PRIMARILY BY THE EMOTION OF HATE. IT INCLUDES BOTH KISMESISSITUDE AND AUSPISTICISM, THOSE ARE THE CALIGINOUS QUADRANTS AND ASHEN QUADRANTS RESPECTIVELY.
BUT OF COURSE NO ONE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT THE UNDERAPPRECIATED ROLE OF AUSPISTICE BECAUSE IT'S NOT EXCITING SO WHAT YOU REALLY WANT TO HEAR ABOUT AND WHAT PEOPLE USUALLY MEAN WHEN THEY TALK ABOUT BLACKROM IS THE CALIGINOUS QUADRANT.
WHICH IS BASICALLY WHEN YOU'RE COMPLETELY DRAWN TO SOMEONE DESPITE HATING THEIR INSUFFERABLE GUTS.

anonymous

[lovelyspecimen]

lol

Re: anonymous

[shoutingnubbypinchcritter]

FUCK OFF.

turbosHot

[fastandloose]

I didn't get a lot of that, but I did that there's not a lot to do other than the appendage thing. But I just got here so I don't have anyone specific.

Can you tell me what all I'm walking into, maybe? Intricate webs of lies? Popularity contests? Is anyone even single?

[shoutingnubbypinchcritter]

I CAN'T ACTUALLY BELIEVE WHAT A PRACTICAL AND REASONABLE QUESTION THAT IS.
THAT LITERALLY NO ONE HAS EVER ASKED ME EVER.
INCLUDING MYSELF.
THEN AGAIN THAT GUY IS OBVIOUSLY A FUCKING MORON.
ANYWAY.
I HAVEN'T BEEN HERE LONG EITHER BUT I'VE DONE THIS MORE TIMES THAN I WANT TO MONOLOGUE ABOUT RIGHT NOW,
SO IT'S NOT HARD TO GUESS.
FIRST OF ALL, 'SINGLE' IS A USELESS DESCRIPTOR OF LITERALLY ANYONE, COMING OUT OF THE FACT THAT FOR SOME MOTHERGRUBBING REASON YOUR SPECIES DEVELOPED A WEIRD OBSESSION FOR THE IDEA OF MONOGAMY.
WHAT YOU WANT TO KNOW IS ANYONE AVAILABLE.
AND THE ANSWER IS YES. THERE ARE ALWAYS PEOPLE WHO ARE CURRENTLY OR IMMINENTLY AVAILABLE.
AS FOR THE REST, ALSO YES.
YOU ARE BOTH WALKING INTO A INTRICATE WEB OF LIES AND ALSO POPULARITY CONTESTS.
BECAUSE BOTH OF THOSE THINGS ARE JUST MECHANISMS BY WHICH WE NAVIGATE THIS CRAZY THING CALLED LIFE.
NO MATTER HOW MANY LIVES YOU LIVES OR TIMES YOU DIE.
IT'S A SMALL TOWN WITH A BUNCH OF PEOPLE FROM DIFFERENT UNIVERSES BUT MOST OF YOU DON'T SEEM INCLINED TO STAB EACH OTHER EVEN WHEN IT WOULD BE A PRETTY REASONABLE RESPONSE. SO HONESTLY IT'S PROBABLY NOT ALL THAT BAD.

anonymous

[ahorseforgood]

There are plenty of people who are available in terms of not being in a monogamous relationships yet, but there are also a lot of people with heavy emotional burdens that may make it difficult to have a casual or not-so-casual relationship, depending on what you want. I don't think there are many webs of lies in the way that you put it, but some residents of the town aren't human, or they're dangerous. Most of them don't keep a terribly low profile when you talk to them, but it's always worth being cautious if you're not interested in that sort of thing. Other than that, if you're up front about what kind of person you're interested in and let them know that they appeal to you, I think you have every chance of being successful. Good luck!

un: leekzarus

[caughtbythecurrent]

well i mean if you WANT me to tell you all about my amazing girlfriend that i got the chance to be with again after death and who is super cute
then i can do that ヾ(＠^∇^＠)ノ

[shoutingnubbypinchcritter]

I'M MOSTLY LOOKING TO GIVE ADVICE.
IF YOU ARE COMPLETELY SATISFIED THAT'S GREAT BUT I DON'T THINK I HAVE MUCH TO SAY ABOUT IT.
COOING OVER SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS IS THE SORT OF NAUSEATING ENDEAVOR PRETTY MUCH ONLY THE PEOPLE IN QUESTION FIND THAT ENJOYABLE.
THE REST OF US ARE MOSTLY ANGRY AND OR JEALOUS AND OR SICK OF LOOKING AT IT.
BUT I MEAN CONGRATS ON NOT BEING DEAD AGAIN AND ALSO INTO RUNNING INTO YOUR MATESPRIT HERE?
SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE ALL THE LUCK.

anonymous. WHY THE FUCK NOT

[kimaris]

You're a professional mediator, is that it?

Then I might have something for you.

[shoutingnubbypinchcritter]

NO. I SPECIFICALLY SAID I AM NOT THAT.
I'M STRICTLY HERE FOR PERSPECTIVE.
YOU HAVE TO TALK TO WHOEVER THIS IS ABOUT YOURSELF AND I TAKE ABSOLUTELY NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY WAY YOU COCK IT UP LATER.
BUT YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT'S UP AND I'LL GIVE YOU MY TAKE ON IT.

anonymous

[ahorseforgood]

I read all of the "posts" and this is very kind of you, though your language isn't what I would use. I'm sorry that some of the people making the comments are giving you a difficult time.

[shoutingnubbypinchcritter]

UH.
THANKS?
I THINK?
I'M GOING TO JUST GO AHEAD AND LEAVE MYSELF VULNERABLE TO A POTENTIALLY INEVITABLE "GOTCHA" BECAUSE I DON'T REALLY HAVE THE ENERGY TO CARE IF YOU ARE SETTING ME UP.

LivetoDie

[cw_suicide]

Literally did not ask for anyone to stick their nose into our business the last time. But for your information, I happen to have much better options for romances than that "blackrom".

Re: LivetoDie

[shoutingnubbypinchcritter]

YEAH, I KNOW.
AS FAR AS I CAN TELL YOU DIDN'T DESERVE THAT.
THOUGH IT LOOKS LIKE SHE MEANT WELL.
MOST HUMANS HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT TO DO WHEN THEY SEE A BLACKROM AND COMPLETELY LOSE THEIR MINDS AT THE IDEA OF TWO PEOPLE PASSIONATELY LOATHING EACH OTHER.
THOUGH YOU ALSO SEEM PRETTY CONFUSED.
UNLESS YOU ARE SAYING YOU HAVE BETTER POTENTIAL KISMESISSES?
WHICH, MAYBE YOU DO?
BUT THIS SOUNDS LIKE A HUMAN PRIORITIZING THEIR FLUSHED QUADRANT OVER THEIR CALIGINOUS. BECAUSE OF THE WEIRD HABIT OF YOUR SPECIES TO DOWNPLAY THE IMPORTANCE OF BLACKROM AS IF IT'S EVEN POSSIBLE TO HAVE NOTHING BUT POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS.

burndownforwhat

[tigeronagoldleash]

boring
too many words
come drink

[shoutingnubbypinchcritter]

UH.
WHAT ALL OF THOSE WORDS YOU DIDN'T BOTHER TO READ SAID WAS.
I'M BUSY.
AND FUCK YOU.

username: L_slaughter

[suckmyglock]

And how do we know you're not just some scam to get our social security number so you can steal our identities and ruin our credit scores???

username: psychest

[ananass]

omg change ur username to LareBare immediatley