quietmounds | (no subject)

(no subject)

WHAT text
WHERE THE INTERNET
WHEN DAY 43

OKAY.
SOMEHOW YOU ASSHOLES ARE GIVING ME A MIGRAINE FROM MY SAFE HAVEN OF THIS SOULLESS AND BLINDINGLY BRIGHT COMPLIMENTARY RESPITEBLOCK.
PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU ARE DOING OR THINKING STUPID THINGS ABOUT YOUR RESPECTIVE CONCILIATORY OR CONCUPISCENT INTERESTS.
DON'T THINK I DIDN'T SEE THAT REVOLTING ATTEMPT AT UNNECESSARY AUSPISTICING FOR WHAT IS OBVIOUSLY A RESPECTABLY CONTENTIOUS LONG-RUNNING BLACKROM, EARLIER.
IT DOESN'T TAKE A PROFESSIONAL TO REALIZE THERE IS NOTHING FOR YOUR CAFFEINE CORRODED SPONGES TO DO HERE OTHER THAN FIGURE OUT HOW EXACTLY TO ROMANTICALLY FUCK BOTH EACH OTHER AND YOURSELVES WITH THE SAME SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE APPENDAGE.
BUT SINCE I AM BASICALLY A PROFESSIONAL.
AND ALSO PRETTY BORED.
YOU CAN LINE UP AND TELL ME ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK EVER STUPID THING YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT WHOEVER IS CURRENTLY INCURRING YOUR PITY OR HATE.
FOR YOU HUMANS THAT MEANS WHO DO YOU WANT TO LOVEFUCK OR HATEFUCK.
AND I WILL OFFER A DISINTERESTED AND COOL HEADED OUTSIDER'S OPINION ON HOW BADLY YOU ARE FUCKING UP.
YOU CAN BE ANONYMOUS IF THAT IS ALL YOU'VE GOT THE SHAMEGLOBES FOR, I DON'T ACTUALLY CARE.
OH.
AND THIS IS ALL STRICTLY PLATONIC.
I AM NOT AUSPITICING FOR ANYONE.
AND IF A SINGLE ONE OF YOU NOOKSTAINS HITS ON ME I SWEAR TO EVERY TENTACLED MOTHERFUCKER IN PARADOX SPACE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND RIP YOUR BIZARRE ALIEN ENTRAILS OUT OF WHATEVER QUALIFIES FOR YOUR BIZARRE ALIEN SHITHOLE, UNDERSTOOD?
OKAY?
GO.

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Already read up on it. Still some points that could be clarified, but I think I get the gist of it.
Fortunately, the one thing the ex has going for him is that he at least can mind his own business from time to time. It's just aggravating because the one causing the biggest mess isn't even the one from my timeline!

I GUESS I'LL DO AN ACTUAL EXPLANATION SOMEWHERE THAT I CAN JUST POINT TO EVERY TIME SOMEONE ASKS ME A QUESTION ABOUT TROLL ROMANCE TERMINOLOGIES BUT IF I MISSED SOMETHING YOU WANT EXPLAINED, GO FOR IT.
AND THOTH.
YEAH.
TIMELINE SHIT IS SUCH AN ENDLESS PAIN IN THE NOOK.
ALL THOSE ALTERNATE VERSIONS OF YOUR INFINITE POSSIBLE FUCK UPS.
SORRY, BUT THERE'S BASICALLY NO WAY FOR THAT SHIT NOT TO GET MESSY.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN EX, THOUGH.
BECAUSE IF YOU CALLED IT OFF AND HE'S STILL COMING AROUND TO RUIN YOUR LIFE THAT'S A WHOLE DIFFERENT THING.
ADMITTEDLY, LEAVING A CALIGINOUS RELATIONSHIP IS NOTORIOUSLY DIFFICULT AND DANGEROUS THING TO DO.
PARTICULARLY IF THE HATE IS STILL THERE. AND BASED WHAT I SAW IT IS?

Bingo! 
I guess the one from my timeline is angry because I left the organization we were both in with no say while the other one is angry because the me of that timeline just continued in the organization to the highest position--which wouldn't sit well for any version of me, probably.
So I guess he's pseudo-ex in that I would rather it be over but unfortunately, we sort of have to work together from time to time.
It's very annoying.

WAIT.
HANG ON.
DID YOU JUST SAY YOU DISAPPEARED ON YOUR KISMESIS WITH NO WARNING OR EXPLANATION?

It was either that or letting my palemate down.
I think he'd be considered my palemate? 
Though I guess it's a bit different in this place, now.
Can relationships move around in quadrants?
Anyway, it was a no-brainer. My kismesis would have hunted me down and dragged me back if I hadn't.

Edited 2017-09-08 06:05 (UTC)

OKAY. PALEMATE IS SORT OF A JOKE TERM.
ANALOGOUS TO 'BESTBRO' I GUESS.
BUT I DON'T ENVY YOU IF ENDED UP HAVING TO CHOOSE BETWEEN YOUR PALE AND CALIGINOUS QUADRANTS.
THOUGH, LIKE I SAID, A GOOD KISMESIS ACTUALLY WILL GENERALLY NOT FUCK WITH YOU ON THOSE.
SINCE IT'S IN THEIR BEST INTEREST TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE WHO IS, THEMSELVES,
FAIRLY MENTALLY STABLE.
THE ROLE OF A MOIRAIL,
WHICH I DIDN'T REALLY GO INTO BEFORE HUMANS HAVE A HARD TIME UNDERSTANDING THIS BUT I GUESS I'LL MAKE AN EFFORT HERE SINCE THIS ACTUALLY SEEMS TO APPLY TO YOU,
IS THAT THEY ACT AS A BALANCING AGENT.
AMONG TROLLS IT'S NOT ALL THAT UNCOMMON TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT COLLOQUIALLY CALL COMPLETELY FUCKING INSANE.
LIKE.
SAY.
MURDER ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS IN CELEBRATION OF SOME CRAZY CLOWN RELIGION INSANE.
I'M NOT GOING TO GET INTO THE HEMEOSPECTRUM HERE BUT SUFFICE TO SAY THE RICHER AND RARER YOUR BLOOD THE MORE LIKELY YOU WILL WANT TO MURDER PEOPLE OF LESSER STATUS IN LARGE QUANTITIES AT SOME POINT IN YOUR LIFE.
ANYWAY.
A MOIRAIL'S JOB IS BASICALLY TO KEEP THAT FROM HAPPENING.
THE MOST COMMON FORM THIS TAKES IS A STRONGER AND MORE INSANE TROLL NEEDED TO PERIODICALLY HAVE THEIR HOMICIDAL ASS SHOOSHPAPPED DOWN BY A CALMER AND WEAKER PALEMATE THAT THEY PITY ENOUGH TO LISTEN TO.
OBVIOUSLY IF YOU'RE THE SANER ONE IN THE EQUATION IT'S MORE LIKE.
TRYING TO LEASH A PARTICULARLY DANGEROUS MUSCLEBEAST AND GUIDE IT THROUGH A RELATIVELY BLOODBATH FREE EXISTENCE IN EXCHANGE FOR HAVING THE SUPPORT AND PROTECTION OF SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY GIVES A SINGLE SOLITARY FUCK ABOUT YOUR EXISTENCE.
OR, THAT'S THE MOST CLASSIC TEMPLATE.
LIKE ALL RELATIONSHIPS THERE'S A LOT OF ROOM FOR VARIATION, AND TROLLS WILL BE MORE OR LESS HOMICIDAL AND NEED MORE OR LESS DIRECTION TO NOT BE CULLED FROM SOCIETY FOR BEING TOO AGGRESSIVE OR TOO WORTHLESS.
ANYWAY WHERE I WAS GOING WITH THAT IS.
EVERYONE FUCKING RESPECTS MOIRALLIENGECE BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T IT'S WORSE FOR EVERYONE.
AND NOW THAT I'M THINKING ABOUT IT.
WHETHER OR NOT YOUR KISMESIS RESPECTS YOU TAKING CARE OF YOUR MOIRAIL IS PROBABLY A DECENT INDICATOR ON WHETHER OR NOT THAT RELATIONSHIP HAS ANY LONG TERM VIABILITY.
THOUGH IT SOUNDS LIKE IT MIGHT NOT BE RELEVANT ANYMORE, IF YOU'RE ASKING ABOUT VACILLATION.
AND YES, THAT'S POSSIBLE.
NO QUADRANT IS REALLY SAFE FROM IT.
I THINK CERTAIN PEOPLE MIGHT LUCK INTO EXACTLY THE SORT OF RELATIONSHIP THEY WANT FROM THE START BUT MOST HAVE TO FIGURE IT OUT AS THEY GO.

Yeah, see, the thing here is that I didn't really mix the two together? Kismesis stayed over there. Moirail stayed over here--at least until he, y'know, DIED.
That's where shit gets complicated and I'd rather not get into it in a public forum, but ftr, the situation was more of the helping musclebeast stay calm which I guess I failed at. Needless to say, before he died, he gave me some sound advice and in order to follow along with it, I had to go. That's all there is to it.
So maybe the Kismesis could have been understanding about it? Maybe? But considering circumstances at the time, I'm doubtful.

IT SOUNDS LIKE IT WAS A SHITTY CHOICE NO MATTER WHAT.
DID YOU WANT TO MOVE THIS CONVERSATION TO PRIVATE?
I GUESS I SHOULD'VE MENTIONED EARLIER THAT'S AN OPTION.
I'M JUST SO USED TO HAVING ALL OF MY SHAMEFUL GRIEVANCES ON DISPLAY TO EVERYONE STILL ALIVE IN ALL OF TIME AND SPACE THAT I DIDN'T REALLY THINK ABOUT IT.

Lol so long as we don't delve into the details of things, I think it's fine. 
But pretty much, in summary, all choices sucked. I just went with the one that had the potential to suck less.

I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW I HAVE MUCH ELSE TO SAY BUT NO ONE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT DEAD MOIRAILS IN PUBLIC, SO WHATEVER.
I CAN SEE WHY YOUR KISMESIS WOULD BE MAD, DISAPPEARING ON SOMEONE IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP LIKE THAT IS BASICALLY SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO BE WAY UP THE ASSHOLE ECHELADDER TO EVEN THINK ABOUT.
SO IF HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS UP, WANTING TO KILL YOU IS A REASONABLE CONCLUSION.
BUT IF YOU DID WHAT YOU HAD TO DO TO BE TRUE TO A FRESHLY DEAD MOIRAIL I THINK MOST PEOPLE WOULD UNDERSTAND.
SO AT THE RISK OF BEING REALLY FUCKING INSENSITIVE BUT ALSO I'M FULLY AWARE OF HOW MUCH DEATH DOESN'T REALLY STICK AND HOW PARADOX SPACE LIKES TO MAKE YOU ULTIMATELY NUMB TO THE SENSATION OF LOSING FRIENDS.
IF I'VE BEEN FOLLOWING YOUR MOIRAIL IS ALIVE AND HERE AND YOU'RE FLUSHED FOR HIM?

Assuming I have all your terminology in order and understanding that this does apply to a whole other species but might as well apply to someone with the background I have... then, yes. Basically, you nailed it.

Edited 2017-09-08 08:13 (UTC)

As for the Kismesis, whether he's mad about it or not doesn't really have any affect on me, mostly because even after years of partnership, he's still largely oblivious to a lot of my own characteristics.
And I guess I'm fine with being seen as an asshole for that.
But then, I guess that sort of dynamic is exactly why we'd be considered kismesis in the first place.

Edited 2017-09-08 08:17 (UTC)

YEAH, THAT'S THE THING ABOUT CALIGINOUS RELATIONSHIPS.
I GUESS IT ISN'T A REQUIREMENT BUT GENERALLY TOO MUCH UNDERSTANDING BREEDS PITY, AND THAT'S HOW YOU GET TORRID VACILLATION BETWEEN THE CALIGINOUS AND FLUSHED QUADRANTS.
WHICH ISN'T UNCOMMON BUT IS MESSY AS FUCK, FOR OBVIOUS REASONS.
IT'S NOT IMPOSSIBLE FOR KISMESISES TO REALLY 'GET' EACH OTHER AND STILL KEEP THE ROMANCE BLACK,
BUT I DOUBT IT'S THE NORM AND IT PROBABLY TAKES A MORE SPECIFIC PAIRING OF PERSONALITY TYPES.
FRANKLY I'M PRETTY AMAZED TO FIND A PAIR OF HUMANS ACTUALLY IN A PROPER BLACKROM.
LIKE YEAH, YOU'RE BEING AN ASSHOLE TO HIM BUT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE.
THAT'S LITERALLY THE WHOLE POINT.
ALSO, PEOPLE THINKING THEY ARE MOIRAILS AND THEN ENDING UP IN MATESPRITSHIP ISN'T THAT UNCOMMON EITHER.
A PROPER MOIRALLEIGENCE IS RAREST RELATIONSHIP TO FIND AND MOST DIFFICULT TO MAINTAIN, BUT OBVIOUSLY MOST FLUSHED FEELINGS START PALE AT SOME POINT SO IT'S TYPICAL FOR TWO PEOPLE TO FIND THEY SHARE A MUTUAL SENSE OF PITY WITHOUT THE SEXUAL ATTRACTION OR WITH ONE OR BOTH PARTIES NOT BEING FORTHCOMING ABOUT SAID ATTRACTION AND ENDING UP TRYING TO ESTABLISH A PALER RELATIONSHIP INSTEAD.

Edited 2017-09-08 08:37 (UTC)

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