quietmounds | (no subject)

WHAT text
WHERE THE INTERNET
WHEN DAY 43

OKAY.
SOMEHOW YOU ASSHOLES ARE GIVING ME A MIGRAINE FROM MY SAFE HAVEN OF THIS SOULLESS AND BLINDINGLY BRIGHT COMPLIMENTARY RESPITEBLOCK.
PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU ARE DOING OR THINKING STUPID THINGS ABOUT YOUR RESPECTIVE CONCILIATORY OR CONCUPISCENT INTERESTS.
DON'T THINK I DIDN'T SEE THAT REVOLTING ATTEMPT AT UNNECESSARY AUSPISTICING FOR WHAT IS OBVIOUSLY A RESPECTABLY CONTENTIOUS LONG-RUNNING BLACKROM, EARLIER.
IT DOESN'T TAKE A PROFESSIONAL TO REALIZE THERE IS NOTHING FOR YOUR CAFFEINE CORRODED SPONGES TO DO HERE OTHER THAN FIGURE OUT HOW EXACTLY TO ROMANTICALLY FUCK BOTH EACH OTHER AND YOURSELVES WITH THE SAME SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE APPENDAGE.
BUT SINCE I AM BASICALLY A PROFESSIONAL.
AND ALSO PRETTY BORED.
YOU CAN LINE UP AND TELL ME ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK EVER STUPID THING YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT WHOEVER IS CURRENTLY INCURRING YOUR PITY OR HATE.
FOR YOU HUMANS THAT MEANS WHO DO YOU WANT TO LOVEFUCK OR HATEFUCK.
AND I WILL OFFER A DISINTERESTED AND COOL HEADED OUTSIDER'S OPINION ON HOW BADLY YOU ARE FUCKING UP.
YOU CAN BE ANONYMOUS IF THAT IS ALL YOU'VE GOT THE SHAMEGLOBES FOR, I DON'T ACTUALLY CARE.
OH.
AND THIS IS ALL STRICTLY PLATONIC.
I AM NOT AUSPITICING FOR ANYONE.
AND IF A SINGLE ONE OF YOU NOOKSTAINS HITS ON ME I SWEAR TO EVERY TENTACLED MOTHERFUCKER IN PARADOX SPACE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND RIP YOUR BIZARRE ALIEN ENTRAILS OUT OF WHATEVER QUALIFIES FOR YOUR BIZARRE ALIEN SHITHOLE, UNDERSTOOD?
OKAY?
GO.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

ONLY FOR LIKE THE FIRST THREE DAYS.
THEY'RE BETTER IF YOU BLEND THEM WITH THE STUFF IN THE BAGS.
BASICALLY LIKE A CHEAP VERSION OF THE CHEAPEST GRUBSAUCE AVAILABLE BACK ON ALTERNIA.
KIND OF NOSTALGIC.
ANYWAY.
NOW I'VE FIGURED OUT THE BEST PLACES TO CATCH THE KIDS WITH THE HATS.
AND IF YOU HIT THEM ENOUGH THEY'LL PUT OUT ACTUAL GRUBSAUCE.
AND BETTER ALCOHOL THAN THAT SWILL YOU SERVE.

jegus i see you made that way more awful than it needed to be or that i thought it could be
seriously vantas youre somehow even scrawnier than your younger self youve got to beef up a little before you stop being subject to the physical properties of space altogether
tho idk maybe that would be a good thing right now
anyway i dont know what youre expecting were a coffeehouse not a fuckin gin joint
all weve got is artisanal beer aka beer with fruit and/or vegetables
though at the rate alcohol is becoming the hottest new coping mechanism this place could probably use a second bar

Edited 2017-09-08 15:30 (UTC)

I WASN'T EXPECTING A COFFEE HOUSE DUE TO HOW YOU FAILED TO MENTION THAT WHEN YOU PROMISED DRINKS YOU MEANT THE MOST USELESS DRUG IN EXISTENCE.
BUT YOU MAKE A GOOD POINT ABOUT NEEDING MORE LOCATIONS TO READILY PROCURE SOPORIFICS AND THE MONEY THAT COULD BE MADE FROM SUCH A VENTURE.
I GUESS I'LL LOOK INTO IT.
AT LEAST IT'D BE SOMETHING I KNOW HOW TO DO.

wait
really???

WHAT REALLY.
DO I REALLY MEAN I MIGHT OPEN A BAR OR DO I REALLY MEAN I KNOW HOW TO OPERATE ONE?
BECAUSE YES TO THE SECOND ONE LIKE.
IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL.
OBVIOUSLY THE MIDNIGHT CREW WAS RUNNING A NUMBER OF WATERINGHOLES AS FRONTS FOR VARIOUS ILLICIT OPERATIONS.
AND IT'S NOT A BAD JOB LIKE MOSTLY PEOPLE WHO WANT TO DRINK AND BLUBBER ABOUT THEIR MOST RECENT ROMANTIC FUCK UP.
BUT I WASN'T REALLY THINKING SERIOUSLY ABOUT IT OTHER THAN I SHOULD DO SOMETHING, PROBABLY.
AND SINCE THERE'S NO BANKS TO HEIST OR CASINOS TO LAUNDER MONEY THROUGH I GUESS THERE'S THAT.

i mean i didnt mean that as an actual suggestion but
but it does actually make sense when you put it like that
i can definitely picture you mothercluckbeasting over some drunk forlorn chumps

Edited 2017-09-08 21:16 (UTC)

I'M NOT ANY MORE ASHAMED THAN USUAL TO ADMIT THAT THE TIPS ARE GREAT IF YOU ACTUALLY HEAR THEM OUT AND OFFER TO SHED A SLENDER BEAM OF COMMON SENSE ON THE LABYRINTHINE WRECK THEY'VE MADE OF THEIR QUADRANTS.
I GUESS I'LL THINK ABOUT IT.
I'D NEED TO GET START UP MONEY FROM SOMEWHERE.

i can basically guarantee all you have to do is tell people you want to peddle some soporifics and they will start lobbing porkhollows at you like so many sport guys trying to get in one last allie oop before the buzzer

YEAH, PROBABLY.
I SAY AS THAT WAS A COMPREHENSIBLE STATEMENT.
I'LL GIVE IT A SHOT LATER, MAYBE.

alright