(no subject)

[help_wanted]

WHAT IN PERSON
WHERE the street!
WHEN day 17, AT NIGHT

[ hey everyone -- since it was HOT and then RAINED now we have steamy night time streets, oh boy. While the humidity is awful, and the heat is back at least there is a NIGHT MARKET which is kind of cool. It has little knick knacks and prizes you can win -- goldfish, stuffed animals, so forth and so on -- as well as food, chicken on a stick, shaved ice, so forth and so on.

Have fun! Wander around! Hang out with people and win prizes!

Or, check out the FREE fortune telling machine. All you have to do is stand in front of it. . . and it will announce, rather loudly, some secret of yours. Or many secrets. Depending on how fast you get out of its line of sight.

. . . if you try to harm, destroy or mute the machine in any way you will be grabbed by security and forcibly put in time out for a little while and get a slap on the wrists. Destruction of private property is frowned upon. ]

Comments

[suckmyglock]

[wandering around disapprovingly, as he does]

Pretty sure that's a fire hazard.

[recut]

You are incorrect.

[cantabiles]

[ guess who has some shaved ice. ]

Is it really?

[splashofbourbon]

What part of it?

[ananass]

[LATER after Lassiter has run away like a big chicken, at probably two thirty in the morning, his phone is ringing]

[appliedscience]

[Appearing, shaved ice in hand.]

Good thing fire is basically useless as a means of destruction here, huh?

[ananass]

[so your choices for interacting with Shawn Spencer this evening are:

1) Before security picks him up, while he stands in front of a fortune telling machine that is announcing such things as "SHAWN SPENCER IS A FRAUDULENT PSYCHIC" and "SHAWN SPENCER THINKS THAT DETECTIVE CARLTON LASSITER HAS A SEXY BEHIND" and "SHAWN SPENCER IS TERRIFIED OF CHANGE"

or,

2) After security picks him up, after he has thrown several rocks at the machine, while he is sitting in time out, having been completely distracted from fussing by the fact that he is in a ball pit and it is awesome.]

[suckmyglock]

[this guy was going to quip re: option 1 until the machine gets to secret #2]

...

[proficient_in_photoshop]

[eatin some chicken, bearing witness to all this

ha, knew it]

[cannonbeauty]

[ There's a sneeze and then a loud EXPLOSION, and there Jessica is. Sitting in time out. 8( ]

Ah, how embarrassing. It was an accident. . .

[suckmyglock]

[he was investigating the explosion but instead he found a jessica]

...

[cinnaponroll]

[Option 1: Tsuzuki is enjoying the night market and loading up on treats and snacks, and then ATTEMPTING to get a prize at a game booth but his darts keep missing, what a shame.

Option 2: Wasn't this supposed to be a fortunate telling machine, not an awful secret-spewing rust-bucket loudmouth?! He quickly backs off when it spits out "Tsuzuki was born over 90 years ago!" and "Tsuzuki is a Shinigami!" yikes yikes]

[recut]

[ she's just going to watch him fail at darts for a while. ]

[proficient_in_photoshop]

[This man is poking about, curious. He checks out the fortune telling machine, which announces very loudly:]

Reigen's coolest scar is from hurting himself trying to stab a cockroach with a butcher knife!

. . . Hey.

[suckmyglock]

[slow clap]

[keijournal]

[Suffice to say that Kaito is here pretty early, because if he saw what this thing does to other people he ABSOLUTELY wouldn't have made the mistake of walking in front of it himself.

But mostly he was just hoping to find a stall with decent Japanese food, he isn't even really paying attention when he walks past it.]


Nagai Kei once killed himself to cure a persistent head cold!


[He can't quite stop himself from turning a startled look at the machine.

But then he makes a FACE and then quickly makes an exit but I mean.

It wasn't super subtle.]

[clocked_out]

[Unfortunately """Kei""" has friends and Dave is trotting over as soon as he sees so, y'know, he catches this]

...

Who now.

Dark Knight 30-50 Spoilers if you're not about that life.

[dominutive]

[Tree is just sort of idly passing it when: Amidralyn (Tree) Tree has historically repressed her rage and bloodthirst so intensely that she formed a second personality, which proceeded to possess a corpse and teach her some cool blood magic. She slowly draws to a halt and levels a truly murderous glare at the device. Notably she's also available later in time out.]

[ghostfromthemachine]

Oh, that's one way to handle it.

[ hi ]

[snackrat]

[The device yells a couple things, while Mika just looks at it like "why is this thing yelling at me--

1) Mikazuki Augus is a father.

and

2) Mikazuki Augus does not hesitate to eat pocket lint.

--definitely feature.]

[2beautiful2live]

[buddy how did you even get here, is Barbatos with you. Did I carry you.

Whatever the point is Orga is sort of standing confused about the first one and doesn't even really hear the second one.]

Oi... what did it just....

[recut]

[ If you come across Laura she has like 298374932432478724982 stuffed animals, tucked into her pockets and under one arm and some like plush snakes looped over her shoulders and is casually shooting cans with a bb gun for more prizes. There's also like two chicken on a sticks poking out of her mouth that she's chewing nonchalantly while shooting. ]

[kimaris]

[ how are you carrying all of that... ]

Haven't dropped one yet?

[punchiest]

[ you can either pass by as the fortune telling machine is saying Ayer loves his sister which then results in him smashing his fists right into the machine repeatedly until he gets dragged off

. . . or you can find him in timeout, arms crossed, shoulders hunched absolutely fuming. ]

[cannonbeauty]

[ Jessica's already in the pit waiting for him (as she does), but that secret was loud enough for her to hear.

Grinning, she scoots closer, so she doesn't have to yell when she announces: ]

I love you, too.

[2beautiful2live]

Isn't it a little small to eat?

[SOMEHOW. ORGA HAS WON A GOLD FISH.

He seems confused]

[eforeveryone]

?

[huh it is small]

Don't want?

[razethebar]

[Option 1: Right around closing time at LuXe, there are... some strange noises coming from the back. Specifically, from the break room that is always locked and no one has been seen coming in or out of for weeks or months. There's loud banging and scraping, and a single weird mechanical screeching noise before things quiet down and Handsome Jack emerges from the room, locking it again behind him before coming out to the main part of the shop. He must have gone into the room the back way. (Is there a back way??)]

Alright, cool. I'll have a passion tea for the road, with room for whiskey, please.


[Option 2: Later, actually at the night market, Jack has some food and is monologuing about it to no one in particular.]

Do you ever think about why meat on a stick is so much more appealing than meat not on a stick? Like, objectively it tastes the same, right, but there's just something about it. I'm not going to go all evolutionary-biologist here, every one of those dudes are assholes. But there's definitely something psychological going on about meat with a big stick stuck through it. Do you know what I'm saying here?

[clocked_out]

... Dicks, I'm pretty sure that was like a five minute monologue on how much you like dick and are into phallic shaped objects.

[clocked_out]

Dave Strider is afraid of puppets!

[Many of you have probably seen Dave baristing at Heavenly Grounds. An awkward and shy young man who frequently mumbles to himself. It is probably a surprise when his apparently instinctive startle response is to whip a sword out of hammer space and try to cut the machine in half.

When that doesn't work he just. Keeps whacking it.]

Fucking puppets!!! Dave Strider has written homoerotic fan comics of Matthew McConaughey and Ben Stiller! Come out here and talk about puppets to my FACE you motherfuckin' secondhand Dave Strider lost his virginity to an alien! Barbie purse excuse for a sentient pocket dimension!!

[Or you can find him floating on his back in time out later.]

[dominutive]

...Well, it's true that puppets are terrible.

[this woman is clearly the same species as that one giant dragon asshole

except she's like

under 5 feet tall?]

[selfidentitytheft]

"Kei lost a bet to a raccoon yesterday."

Hey! No! That's not fair, he cheated! He had back-up!

[kimaris]

[ That fortune telling machine is sure harpy shrieking: "GAELIO BAUDUIN WORE DIAPERS TOO LONG."

...he's just kind of standing there, staring at it with a weird expression. ]

[2beautiful2live]

[Was eating meat on a stick.

But turns around when he hears that and just. Grins.]

How long is that?

[wheelofmisfortune]

Eizen has a sister comple-

[ If you have spirit powers, you're treated to the sight of Eizen immediately gut-checking a fortune-telling machine before being escorted off to time out. ]

[ If you don't have spirit powers, well, you might be wondering why there's a very deep impression of a fist in that machine next to you. ]

... 'Tch.

[2beautiful2live]

[Kind of jumps at the noise and is indeed confused by there being a fist there.]

What the---

[and ince he gets DISORIENTED TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IS UP WITH THE MACHINE it helpfully informs everyone:]

Orga Itsuka has never been kissed.

[eforeveryone]

"Link wishes he could remember his fiancée."

[Link stops, confused, staring at the machine. After a bit it chrips again]

"Link lost his ability to speak freely from the pressure of upholding his destiny."

[squint?!!?!]

[2beautiful2live]

[Just sort of.

Yanks Link gently away from it.]

If you stand in front of it, it exposes your secrets.

[foretasted]

Konoe eats raw eggs whole

Egg shells are an excellent source of calcium. The pickle juice one is better.

Reynard's favorite beverage is pickle brine

There, was that so hard?

[proficient_in_photoshop]

What the fuck, dude.