quietmounds | (no subject)

[just. blinks at her]

......at all?

. . . not very often and um. . . if you're going to keep getting drunk one of us should be sober. . .

Trust me. Drunks are better drunk.

. . . [ that doesn't make much sense to her but ok. ]

I don't mind, anyway. . .

[eyes her, then downs the alcohol]

That's because, because you're too nice.

Nice? No — I'm not really. . . um. . . you're very nice, actually. . .

Hah? I kill people, you know. I crush them like.... like soda cans.

Killing people doesn't make them not nice. . . just like how not killing people doesn't make you nice.

[squint.....]

Who told you that?

It's just true!?

I also, beat up that asshole. A lot.

I've broken his nose three times. Maybe I'll do it again.

[grabs for his cigarettes]

I bet he'd like that!

. . . it sounds like [ because you're in love and obsessed ] that. . . he might need some help. And you too. . .

He doesn't want help! He'd rather fucking die.

[he is angry when he lights the cigarette but after that statement sits for a second he looks. s....sa...d.....]

[ . . . oh. . . oh no. ]

But you keep giving him help?

[ an honest question because it's difficult to tell with you guys ]

...no. I just...

[suuucks on. his cigarette....]

...just make him do things he hates.

Huh? — wait, what?

It's my fault he's alive.

[sliiiides off the counter and onto the stool. so he can put his face on the counter.]

I don't know though. I never could've thought of anything else.

[ . . . ah. . . ]

Do you know why he wants to die. . .? And, um, why you don't want him to die. . .

He hates ...everything.

[tilts his head into his arm and mumbles]

And he's my partner.

He hates everything. . . just . . . because?

[ looks over at miserable sad pathetic Chuuya. ]

Your boss and your partner?

Partner first. Boss after he killed the last boss.

[lifts a gloved hand and waves it vaguely]

That's the rules. But that bastard tried to renege. Wouldn't let him.

[ this is... too weird........,,, ]

Why wouldn't you?

[curls his hand into a fist and slams it onto the bar and lifts his face enough to glare, though not really at her he's just. mad]

Was I supposed to let him die?!

[ winces a little. but she at least knows this one. ]

. . . there isn't a right answer to that. I would try my best too, in a similar situation I think. . .but that doesn't make it either for either of you. . . do you know what he wants. . .?

Toooo die...?

[like

was he. unclear.

maybe it's hard to understand just how into death dazai is that's fair]