quietmounds | (no subject)

(no subject)

WHAT In person or texting, I don't know, I'm not your boss
WHERE Wherever you'd be at night
WHEN Day 1, night
NOTES aj said i was allowed to make a new post

[So, you've survived your first—or fiftieth, or five-hundredth—day in Quiet Mounds. Tonight, it's raining—or, it's not. Maybe you're trying to get used to your new, quiet apartment. The electricity is buzzing in that way that's hard to ignore, a silence so loud it's deafening, in that poetic sort of way.]

[Or maybe you're one of the sad sacks still working at the 24/7 joints. Or their why-am-I-even-up-this-late customers. You're the reason why capitalism does this to people, you know.]

[☽ ☽ ☽]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm

[just sends that, then like 30 seconds later]

I'm a little messed up over it, honestly. I'm glad he's alive. Infinitely, incredibly glad that he gets a second chance at life. But...

[this time does not send anything else 30 seconds later]

right
but

[a few seconds later]

did you tell him

I can't, he doesn't know me. He just lost his partner, at that age. I just... I couldn't hide everything, so I said we were friends someday.

that was probably the right call

Do you think so??

yeah
i dont know him
but bumrushing right into a hella intense conversation about emotions when he doesnt know you and you dont really know HIM on account of hes crazy young
seems like it could lead to some preventable misunderstandings

Thanks. That's what I was thinking, but I am probably the least unbiased person about these decisions. And even fifteen or so years after this, he's still grieving his last lover and holding himself separate, so...

yeah
dont get me wrong i wouldnt put it off too long

What if I put it off forever?

definitely do the opposite of that

You don't understand, I'd be three right now.

yeah but you arent 3 right NOW
you are basically the same age as him

But he doesn't know me, he won't know me for fifteen years, what he knows is his Companion and his loss and ... how old is he? War, probably. I think at this point thinking he even falls in love with someone else, let alone Lifebonds, might feel like a betrayal...

.........
i dont know
maybe this is out of line weve established the lifebond thing is kind of beyond my ken
but maybe this is like a second chance
15 years is a longass time to be preoccupied by a person who is dead that hell never see again

I don't think anything's out of your ken. Lifebonds are for life, even if the other person is gone.

so what about yours

...We never figured out how that happened. It should have been impossible, since he'd lifebonded before.

i meant like now

Meaning, is mine fixed?

meaning is it going to DO anything
i don't know how it is in your slice of paradox space
but in mine personal identity metaphysics aint even passingly acquainted with linear chronology

It.... will probably try to re-form to him again. It might already be doing it. I don't know, I can't tell. It's damaged, I'm damaged.

i dont think youre damaged
i think it might be worth asking whether theres a cultural mythology sort of framing what all goes on with a lifebond
cause if its really the kind of thing that happens on the level of actual goddam souls
if a soul here is basically an extra-temporal notion of who you are
then i dont think death is the kind of thing that could permanently change that

I know as much as anyone does, as far as I know. It's not something that was really...studied. And I do... think... I'll probably rebond to him. I need him.

so there you go

He probably won't notice, though.