quietmounds | (no subject)

[the mood is gay, chuuya gives him a wide eyed, somewhat disarmed blink. he feels a little silly, being stared at like that. but it's the truth, and... if Dazai made fun of him, well. it wouldn't be the first time.]

. . . then you can have me.

[ he says it slowly, he feels incredibly exposed and not just because he hasn't closed his legs one bit either. it's. . . almost. . . shy???? ]

[Chuuya is vaguely aware that his heart is pounding really hard, considering he hasn't even started fucking him yet

he leans back into the kiss, keeping it slow and soft]

Okay...

[his head is buzzing]

Okay. Mine, then.

[ dazai is struck with the horrifying moment that he knows

he belongs to someone else, somewhere else, too

but he doesn't have to think about that, if he's with chuuya in this moment that doesn't matter and presses his lips to chuuya's again after 'mine' ]

[Finally enters Dazai, no stretching or warning more than the brief blunt touch of his cock before he presses in, it's not rough, and considering how rarely Chuuya bothers with anything like proper preparation it's frankly kinder than usual. he presses in firmly, pulling Dazai inot his lap once he is able to. He has to tilt his head all the way back to nose lose the kiss, and his breath comes out warm and slow into Dazai's mouth when something like a needy groan.]

[ he wasn't expecting that, but it isn't bad, just makes him exhale a kind of huffed laugh, it's always funny in a way when they end up like this because Dazai feels like he has too many limbs, too much height, but he can wrap himself around Chuuya. ]

[Chuuya almost never minds dazai's height at all, and that's true still, he likes the feeling of stretching up along him, both arms reaching up dazai's long back. He finds more scars, more lines he didn't leave, and peels them open with his bloodied nails ]

[ it hurts but in an almost relieving way. Dazai twists under Chuuya’s hands, as if just to feel Chuuya’s fingernails tear even more through his skin. He rises up just a little, then resettles in Chuuya’s lap ]

['Mine' is a good word and Chuuya murmurs it into Dazai's mouth while curving his hands to Dazai's hips to help him move. The usual bruises have gotten lighter, turned unflattering colors, and there's scars here too, but these ones are actually Chuuya's already, he's sure of it. Too many years of digging his fingers into Dazai's hips for them to belong to anyone else.

It's fine though, he reopens them, gripping hard enough to hurt as he lifts Dazai, pays absent attention to the shift in his weight to know when to bring him back down.]

[ he’s thought about Chuuya’s strength a lot over the years. How Chuuya could rip him apart easily but also how he does enjoy this too — how it’s easy to actually believe ‘mine’ if Chuuya can handle him this way. And how annoying it is that Dazai can’t just do the same back. He’s given up on that idea as they got older.

His arms tighten around Chuuya just as Chuuya’s fingers dig in. ]

[They can't go fast like this, Chuuya's not that strong, not without use of his gravity, anyway. But he doesn't mind, they have time. When he lifts, he can't quite kiss Dazai anymore and he moves his mouth onto Dazai's neck and collar, scraping teeth over skin. This he doesn't do hard enough to draw blood, just raise red marks that will fade in a few hours. But it's fine, he wants to feel Dazai moving on top him for now.]

[ mumbles Chuuya’s name, using his hold on him to rise and fall a little. When was the last time they had sex this way — it might be more recent than he remember. But he can’t remember feeling this raw before. Even at his worst. ]

[Chuuya keeps it up, both wanting and not wanting to switch positions. There's something really hypnotic about the rise and fall of Dazai, the skin shifting under his mouth, the burn in his arms from lifting and holding and pulling. he finds a bleeding scratch he opened earlier and drags his tongue along it, rough and slow, breathing 'mine' again while tasting Dazai's blood.]

[ he said hard, but there’s something satisfying about this. Maybe because of the way that he bleeds — and it’s all that Chuuya has made him bleed — or that the slower pace, his own up and down — is actually enjoyable.

Dazai laughs, it’s kind of short and confused sounding but not a bad noise. ]

[that's... a really cute sound, actually. Chuuya wants it. and next time Dazai slides down onto him moves his hands up to curl into Dazai's hair, pull him down a little bit, kiss him softly to almost chase it]

[ stays, down, this time so he can linger in the kiss. He wants to tangle both his hands in Chuuya’s hair but he can’t so he doesn’t even try just leans closer until there’s no more space between them ]

[Chuuya deepens it, lingers, he meant to do something but gets distracted, kissing and just running his fingers down Dazai's back, tracing scars without cutting into them.

When he finally says something it feels like the stretch before forcing himself out of bed]

Okay...

[and then he lifts up and tilts forward, pushing Dazai back onto the bed without slipping out of him, deliberately grinding deep, one hand finds the scars on the inside of a thigh, presses down on them]

There's a rule. Tell me if you're about to come.

— ha?

[ Dazai’s left leg bends, as if searching to anchor himself at the change in weight but as Chuuya grinds in his whole body curls just a little instead.

Ah. Those are at least half scars he made himself, he thinks idly, feeling the dulled pressure against old scar tissue. ]

You heard me.

[Hm, Chuuya wants his hands more free if he is going to keep making Dazai bleed. He snags a pillow, folds it up under Dazai's lower back so his hips are off the bed without Chuuya needing to hold him so much. He experimentally swings his hips, still a slow fuck but already more powerful than when he was moving Dazai on top of him]

... fine.

[ rules are a bit nerve wracking but honestly it’s probably?? Okay??? Besides they’re fucking now so, ]

It'll be worth it.

[Chuuya assures, stretches and leans forward to give Dazai a quick peck, and then pulls back again. this isn't a good position for staying close and fucking hard, so he focuses on the latter for now, one hand on Dazai's hip, the other on his stomach, digging into old scars as he begins to fuck him in earnest, a couple of lose warm up thrusts and then it's hard snaps of his hips at a gradually increasing pace]

[ Dazai mutters something under his breath and grips at the sheer with one hand. The other settles near his side, not sure what to do with the busted hand honestly. He moves with Chuuya, but his gaze is in Chuuya’s face, as if trying to record what might be different about this time ]

[Well he's not mad, or even solemn, his grin is sharp and bright and excited, though breaking apart as he puts most of his focus into fucking Dazai.

Its harder to leave precise cuts on him like this, it's slow work, sharp little movements of his fingers between thrusts just to reopen one scar]

[ it hurts more when Chuuya reopens them than when he did them. There’s always something dull about the shallower cuts, and he stopped doing the really deep ones after too many accidents.

He might be more alive when they fuck.

Soon, his breath is coming faster and every thrust from Chuuya he can feel somewhere deep inside. Dazai drops his gaze from Chuuya’s face then more to hide his own expression than because he needs to look away ]

[There's a dirty, tacky feeling to the blood on his hands, gumming up under his nails, he's left rusty handprints on Dazai's stomach and hips and when he slows to grind into him, he strokes Dazai's cock and leaves a streak of it there, too.

Later he'll fix it, patching Dazai up is always part of the work but sometimes it's also part of the fun. He should maybe be worried about the excitement of thinking of these marks as his, it's not an entirely new thought but to have Dazai agree to it...

He watches Dazai look away and wants to pull him back but can't spare the hand, so instead he says Dazai's name, it almost sounds like a tease, probably because he's still smug and happy.]