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WHAT in person
WHERE wherever there's a street :)
WHEN Day 27

[ Wherever you are there is a somewhat ominous ice cream truck nearby. Playing its ominous music. Driving slowly. If you try to approach though, it vanishes, leaving your fingers feeling weirdly sticky as if you had been eating the most delicious ice cream drumstick in your life.

and you crave ... something... what, well, that probably depends on the person, hm? ]

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[looks at him very seriously. this is an Oda that isn't backing down on this one.]

You're important to me.

[well now he definitely wants to just fucking die.

but somehow, he bites back a very painful question and just. FROWNS AT ODASAKU. HE IS SO UPSET RN.]

... I'm surrounded by idiots.

Maybe a little. But it doesn't make us wrong.

[sorry dazai]

[STILL BITING HIS TONGUE ON THAT QUESTION. SOMEHOW.]

Still judging you.

[even Dazai wouldn't date Dazai i mean really.]

[no shit dazai wouldn't date dazai, that means jack shit]

Yeah, okay.

You can ask, you know.

No.

[he's gonna petulantly curl up and pretend he's not like metaphorically bleeding all over Oda]

Yes. You can. You don't have to, but you can.

[hfff, strokes his back.]

[that... that doesn't help with keep a lockdown on these feelings and he's trying really hard. because--]

... if I'm so important, then why did you go without me?

[--it's just something that cuts too deep.]

[his hand stills.]

...It's because you're important. It was about revenge, and about giving up on myself. But even with my own will to live destroyed, I still wanted you to live. It's selfish. I know.

[it occurs to Dazai that this Odasaku has probably had this exact same argument with his Dazai.

hunching his shoulders because... he knows. he knows that. why else would Odasaku tell him the things he did in the end? and it feels childish to be upset about it--it's irrational, there's no logic behind it since he already knows the hows and whys.

but still.]

... I would have gone. If you'd asked, I would have.

[he has, and it was rough, and it's not any easier the second time around.]

I know. It's exactly because I knew that there was no way I could have asked.

Instead, you asked me to live like this.

[with that dark hole.

alone.

for two years.

while his ledger was artificially erased.

if he were any other person, he'd definitely be crying like a pitiful child who just wants to escape the pain.]

I'm sorry.

But I wouldn't take it back.

[you're so

so mean

odasaku

and dazai is just going to needily do that arms around neck and tucking his face into your shoulder thing AGAIN because it hurts and its not fair but also odasaku still making his point that he does care and dazai wants that so so so much just

pathetic noises are the only answer here. usually this requires alcohol but fuck that]

It still hurts, you jerk.

[wraps his arms tight around Dazai too, warm and solid and real and alive and RIGHT HERE, HOLDING HIM.]

I know. I'm sorry.

[but again, not taking it back.]

... this does explain all the headbutts, though.

I realized kissing you out of nowhere was probably not a good idea.

Kissing me is always a good idea.

[but no, it probably would have been hella confusing and also distressing but GUESS WHAT, IT IS STILL GONNA BE THAT SORTA.]

I don't disagree. But it might have been a bad way to find out.

[stares at expectantly.]

[...draws him into a kiss.]

[was so ready to fight if there was any argument but since there wasn't, that just means all the intensely needy responding kiss.]

[like he'd argue with this. he's kissing dazai warmly, accepting, not quite trying to soothe but meeting him where he is.]

[where he is is so damn thirsty he's wanted this probably since he was like sixteen goddamn

which is why he's gonna shift so he can lean in and deepen the kiss, hi.]

[yeah this is all pretty familiar for Oda.

letting him, kissing him like he knows Dazai likes, hot and needy.]