quietmounds | (no subject)

WHAT The Quiet Mounds Dating App ™
WHERE Wherever you are
WHEN Day 81

[Wherever you are or whatever you're doing, your phone lets out a ♪ happy little noise ♪ to let you know that it's downloaded and installed updates!]

[. . . which includes a new and mysterious app with a logo that's just [♥] . . . If you try to ignore it, you'll find that it's giving you push notifications and pop-ups anyway. And you've already got a profile filled out.]

[You can change and edit your profile later, but for now, maybe it has your best interests in mind? Or, uh, maybe not. Whatever. Make some friends. It doesn't seem to block you from messaging anybody, though it seems to give you the option to be forward and use ✖ ❤ or ★ on them as well.]

[THE STEPS TO PLAY IN THIS POST: #1: Fill out the profile below for your character. #2: Choose your icon (which will be your Profile Pic™) and post your comment. #3: Reply to other peoples' profiles with a text message. IF YOU WANT you can add: ✖ to your subject line if you're Not Into That, ❤ if you'd Tap That, or ★ if you want to be friends. But you can also just reply normally. I'm an app not a cop.]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[except someone just tried to open the app and it absolutely just refused to start up. instead there's a pop-up that says:]

This app has standards.

Hey there, I'm: Lord El-Melloi II
I'd describe myself as: A magus with big dreams and a bigger headache.
The kind of relationship I'm looking for is: That of a man and his videogame console.
But this is a real deal-breaker: If you're not Alexander the Great, I'm probably not interested.

Hey there, I'm: Jessica
I'd describe myself as: A big sister! :D
The kind of relationship I'm looking for is: ??????
But this is a real deal-breaker: You have to be strong enough to fight Ayer

Hey there, I'm: Tai-Zhi
I'd describe myself as: Powerful, serious to a fault, a good cook, caring deep down, kind of a fun vampire. Also a big dragon who can make thunderstorms if you're into that.
The kind of relationship I'm looking for is: Platonic, romantic, sexual, it hardly matters. Anything is fine, except for the below. Also pretty out of practice in the romance department.
But this is a real deal-breaker: Not really into the whole murder-hate-sex thing.

Hey there, I'm: The Heavenly Grounds NPC
I'd describe myself as: Easy
The kind of relationship I'm looking for is: Emotionally stunted
But this is a real deal-breaker: Functioning alcoholism

Cute. That's cute.

[you can hear someone laughing nearby]

[This is a blank profile, sorry. SHE CAN'T SEEM TO GET ANYTHING TYPED OUT?

She did upload a profile picture somehow tho, congrats, Jeanne.]

[ She's going to sidle up against you and ppppeeerrr over your shoulder ]

Hi!

Jubilee, what is this?

Hey there, I'm: Fen Alba, resident bird friend.
I'd describe myself as: Easygoing, a bit of a doormat, but helpful and eager to talk! Also, easy? Buy me a drink and I'm yours, baby.
The kind of relationship I'm looking for is: Platonic is good! Friends are fun. I wouldn't mind someone cute to sleep with either, though. Not sure about romance, but I'm down for a quick fuck.
But this is a real deal-breaker: I'm into most everything, really... just ask first!

[ he's pretty jazzed about this tbh, technology is great ]

Wooooah, it looks like a dating app. You're looking aroung the market for a boyfriend or a girlfriend?

Of course not! It just appeared.

[She doesn't even use her phone that often?! She doesn't know how to use it more like.]

[holding out his own unflattering profile]

Don't take it personally.

Don't be shy! I can help!

I'm not being shy. I don't look for stuff like love.

Hey there, I'm: ~~☐☐☐☐☐~~ Vasily
I'd describe myself as: A little tightly wound, but trying to learn to live a little.
The kind of relationship I'm looking for is: Whatever, really, if you have the patience to want it. But not want it too much.
But this is a real deal-breaker: Trying to get close is probably not going to work out, sorry.